Why does wealth cause some people to treat others differently

Sometime I can't believe how people treat each other.  I'm hearing and reading about stories of people saying they will not give their wife her stimulus check of $1,200 because she will go spend it all. Instead she will get a few hundred. 

Whats is wrong with people.  Why do spouses treat each other like kindergartens. Why does the husband think he can mange their money better then his wife? Why does she have to have an allowance?

The problem is that she doesn't know or isn't allowed to know their financial picture. It is true in most couple one person takes on this pardon and the other either doesn't care/not interested or is excluded.

I work continuously to talk to my wife about our finances. I have varying degrees of success on this.  There are times she asking if she can I buy this $$$ thing or pay off this other bill.  I then got look at MINT and review our finances and tell her not this month or sometimes I give bad responses. One of my more famous responses "sure go ahead we have tons of money." What I really meant was based on how much we normally have in our checking and bills coming due we have an extra buffer before the next paycheck without transferring money out of savings.  Easy to see why says that can cause problems.

I have friend who are married and the keep their finances completely separate. Not sure how I feel about this, seem like it will causes more problems then it fixes. The big issue is people don't want to face the facts on how much they spend and what they spend there money on.  Either they don't want to do the work or don't care and feel like they work hard they deserve to spend their money. 

I think this sentiment is the reason why some people feel like they own their families money and only give their spouse an allowance.  Its like a marriage allowance for marring the person that they feel they are doing the right thing because their spouse don't have any self control like they do. 

If everyone has the same goals and talk through these goals having everyone stick to a budget is much easier.  Goals are defined

1. What you want to achieve   example (pay for college $150,000)
   
2. When you want to achieve it   example (18 years from now)
   
3. How are you going to achieve it    example (save $695 a month) or $160 a week or $22 a day (a price of a coffee at $tarbuck$)
   

The act of pivoting

Learning how to pivot then new information comes it is key to long term success.

Today I start my sprinklers then promptly forgot and let my dog outside.  Then he quickly chew off the head of the sprinkler.  So a minor flood happened in my backyard.  Now this isn't the first time he has done something like this.  This is the first time for something of this scale ( 6 of the 8 heads needed to be fixed).

I was frustrated because repairing these are annoying.  Not difficult or that time consuming just annoying.  So I pivoted and decided to use repairing the sprinklers as part of home school.  I got the tools out and show the kids how to turn on the sprinklers and how them how to fix the sprinkler heads with the special tools.   Was a quick 20 min learning exercise and the kids had fun. 

This is the same thing with your finances.  Heck even the most buy and hold investor Warren Buffet just sold all his share of airline stocks, because things changed when he first decided it was a good investments and the long term for airlines don't look good.

This can mean you need to change your eating habits or that vacation you were planning.  I was planning on going to Seattle with travel rewards to see a baseball game. We had to cancel that. Now it is looking like maybe no vacations this year.  Our vacation trips to see family are now in doubt.   Somethings are easy to pivot from while others are not. 

Right now change vacation plans aren't fun, but they are easy.  What happens when a birthday comes up or Christmas. Or long term things like saving for College.  If things are tight now what does it looks like next month or the month after that.

I know there has been lots of talk about stimulus or more stimulus money, but let me real.  What goes around comes around. And one day all this money is going to have to come from somewhere.  All I can say is start saving now.  Save a dollar a week for birthdays or Christmas.  Or start the conversations now that things are tough. Don't completely shield your kids they are smart and understanding.  Talk to your spouse and spending habits.  I'm going to have to do that soon.  One choice my wife decided was to help local business by ordering out once a week.   This has blow out dinning budget which is fine, but our grocery budget got a little fat as well.  We just need to refocus what we buy instead of buying acute things to make dinner for the next couple of days get stuff that can make multiple meals.

Stimulus check - updated

For most people this is a welcome boost and is very much needed to get them through the next month or so.


If you didn't know this money comes from the Phase-3 plan from the 2 Trillion relief bill that was passed. The idea is to give each American $1,200 to help them through these tough times.  And an addition $500 for each child under 18. Combine this with people spending less money it can be very helpful. For families who were laid off or have a stop work this probably isn't enough.

We got out auto-deposit check yesterday. I didn't think we were going to get one because my wife and I both work and I though our income would put us over the limits.

To break it down they have a phase out period.

• UPDATE for 2021 around - Change the check amount to whatever the Feds passed. As of 1/2021 it is 600 for individual, but this can change anytime if it does. All this mean is you will get less and phase out is much quicker. for the changes below.

Single:

• Make less then $75,001 on your 2018 return your get the full $1,200 (add 500 for each kid)
• If you make more then you lost 5% for 
• 1,200 - <refund reduction>  = (<income> - 75,000) * .05
• Example     100,000 - 75,000 = 25,000 - salary over
• 25,000 * .05 = 1,250  since 1,250 > 1,200 you don't get anything.
• 1,200 - 1,250 = -50    - you are over
• It turns out the phaseout max is $99,000 for a single filer
• If you are a head of house filer with one child $136,500 is the max

Joint Return:

• Make less then $150,001 on your 2018 return your get the full $2,400 (add 500 for each kid)
• If you make more then you lost 5% for 
• 2,400 - <refund reduction>  = (<income> - 150,000) * .05
• Example     160,000 - 150,000 = 10,000 - salary over
• 10,000 * .05 = 500  - since 500 < 2,400 you will get a return
• 2,400 - 500 = 1,900    - you will get 1,900 stimulus check
• It turns out the phaseout max is $198,00 for a joint filer no kids

 

Joint Return Kids
- Here is were it wasn't initally clear for me.  I didn't relize that the kids 500 is added into the 2,400 amount before they apply the max.  I assumed since our return have over the phase out we weren't going to get anything. It breaks down to check kids is the same as making $100 more on your 2018 return i.e the max with kids under 18 is $198,000 + (10,000 * # of kids). A max refund is $3,400 for a family with two kids and a max earned income of  217,999 for 2018.
Lets see the math.

• 3,400 - <refund reduction>  = (<income> - 150,000) * .05
• Example     217,999 - 150,000 = 67,999 - salary over
• 68,000 * .05 = 3,399.98 - since 3,399.98 < 3,400 you will get a return
• 3,400 - 3,399.98 = .05    - you will get .05 stimulus check
• It does work

This works the same for head of house or single families

I know money is money, but honestly I shouldn't have gotten a check.  Our jobs are not at risk and I know Feds wouldn't of known this. There is better uses for this money then going into my pocket.  What I looking into doing is donating the money through my work which will match 100% and will double this money to help others.  I pass this money on to our local zoo, museums and food shelters. All which I've never done in the past.

Be safe and enjoy

How to survive homeschooling and working

So I now have three full time jobs.

1. A parent to two kindergarten kids 
2. Teacher/homeschool professor to two kindergarten kids
3. my other 40hr week job which now I work from 1pm - 9pm 

Our first responsibility is to ourselves.   We can't do much if we get sick either through carelessness or accident.

Now the hard part has been telling the kids whats going on and why they are not going to school anymore.  Truth be told my kids have taken it very well and they don't seen scared or bothered by it. It did take some explaining to them on why they can't play on the playground, but they seems to get it.

😷
What we told them was their is a virus that is making people sick. Just like a normal sickness that any of us can get, but this one is new and they don't have medicine for it yet.  We can only catch it from other people or things they have touched. That why we need to keep our distance and wash our hand more often.  The asked if they could get sick. Our response was they can get sick, but they would probably not get very sick either would Mom or Dad. They people who would get really sick would be older people.  They said like their Great Grandmas. So we told them that we would be doing school from home for awhile.  And we couldn't go to the neighborhood park without having sanitizer with us.

Home Schooling

Now that I found out I am going to be teaching the kids the rest of the year let the fun begin.
First was coming up with a schedule.  My wife and I did a lot of quick searching to find  tons of different approaches to this.  So the first two weeks was just us. The schools were trying to figure out what to do and this happened during our Springbreak which delayed the schools responce .

We descided to make each day unquie, but use the same basic subjects.

Start the day about the same time as normal school hours 8am.

• Wake up at 7am and have breakfast
• 8:00am - school start 
• 8:00 - 8:30 - Circle time - start the day ask question on the previous day, weather, pleage of allegance.
• 8:30 - 9:00 - Yoga/Stretching
• - not this was way to much time and change it our second week to 8:00-8:30 for these two times
• 9:00 - 9:30 - one of these four (Math/Literacy/Social Studies/Art/Science)
• 9:30 - 10:30 - snack & recess (had to do it in the basement since it was cold or snowy
• 10:30 - 11:30 - two subjects (Math/Literacy/Social Studies/Art/Science) each for 30mins
• 11:30 - 12:00 - freetime
• 12:00 - 13:00 - Lunch Recess
• 13:00-14:30 - Nap/Quiet time
• 14:30 - 15:30 - two subjects (Math/Literacy/School assigned computer work) each for 30mins
• 15:30 - 16:00 - Snack & Stretching
• 16:00 - 16:30 - one of these four (Math/Literacy/Social Studies/Art/Science)
• 16:30 - 17:00 - freetime
• 17:00 - 18:30 - Dinner/Brush teeth/Jammies/Baths
• 18:30 - 19:00 - Family Game/show 
• 19:00 - 19:30 - Book
• 19:30 - Bed
• Parents - Plan any changes

This was our first week and it went well, but we felt we need to remove big gap of stuff in the middle of the day and the morning circle time/stretching was to long.   Our schdule change to something like this

• Wake up at 7am and have breakfast
• 8:00am - school start 
• 8:00 - 8:30 - Circle time/Yoga Stretching - start the day ask question on the previous day, g 
• 8:30 - 9:30 - (Math/Literacye)
• 9:30 - 10:30 - snack & recess (had to do it in the basement since it was cold or snowy
• 10:30 - 11:30 - two subjects - Literacy and one of these (Social Studies/Art/Science) each for 30mins
• 11:30 - 12:30 - Lunch Recess
• 12:30 - 13:30 - Nap/Quiet time
• 13:30 - 14:30 - (Math/Literacy/School assigned computer work) each for 30mins
• 14:30 - 15:00 - Snack & Stretching
• 15:00 - 17:30 - Freetime/quite time
• 17:00 - 18:30 - Dinner/Brush teeth/Jammies/Baths
• 18:30 - 19:00 - Family Game/show 
• 19:00 - 19:30 - Book
• 19:30 - Bed
• Parents - Plan any changes

Then the school stared providing material.  We only change a little. We include the Zoom meetings with teacher and class into the time.  Starting being flexible it lessons go over the time layout. Since we have breaks sometimes they are only 45min instead of an hour. It has been important to be flexible. I was very stressed the first week with the teachers material because allot of there resources required different login for different site and each kids having different ones.  I was spending all my time login and trying to get the site to work.  Sitting down with my wife and spending a night getting logins set and printout out the information helped out allot.

Games I've come up with to help my kids learn letters/words/numbers.  Zombie word shooter.  They get nurf guns where I am a zombie that can only be beat when they shot a word I'm saying.  We tapped words around a room.  Two kids mean both kids have to shot the word to defeat me.  If I catch them I eat their jelly-bean brains.  Jelly beans are the price after we are done.

Another variation is I used whiteboards with magnets letter or number and hold up words. I say a word and they have to tell me the magnet that is holding it up and shot the work to get a M&M. Or I can the magnet and they tell me the word holding it up. (i give each kid their own one to avoid one kid always answering).

Interesting times we are in.

Work has been very flexible, but not fun. I am required to go into work instead of stay at home like I was in the beginning.

Is this time different?

Wow life has gotten crazy.  That is probably the biggest understatement.

Obviously the virus of which we don't speak it's name is the headliner of all news.

So a list of things that has changed for my family in the past 2-3 weeks

1. School and daycare was shutdown or an additional week after spring break. Which they added 2 additional weeks - So we are homeschooling
2. Work has strongly encourages us to work from home if possible. I was able for 2 weeks until they wanted me to coming.
3. My work office is changing buildings to have our team seporated across buildings
4. Summer plans are all on hold
5. Tickets we bought for skiing are all in question
6. The stockmarket has fallen like a rock 
7. Whole state is on lock down

Here is a list of some nice things

1. Taxes are now not due until July 15th yeah I get to keep the money longer
2.  I accidently over bought toliet papper months ago.  I though we were out in Janurary so I push up out Amazon subscribe and Save order. I counted yesturday we had 120 rolls.  We donated 24 rolls to our friends who were on their last roll.
3. Went through a list of services we aren't using and cancalled 
1. Car wash (we only use in the winter)
2. gym - no point when you can't go
3. consumer reports - good resource, but not something we use every month. No real reason to keep it until you need it again
4. RoadRunner - havn't cancalled yet. It is nice when you have to buy shoes.
4.  One eatten out/in once since this all started. Really only to support local a business. They are hurting.
5. Bought flowers for a friend who was sick. They liked it and the flower store thanked us like 5 times
6. A lot more outside walking time with dog and family

Besides out dog who is getting like 10 walks a day since he is a year and half old Lab with so much energy it is required. This last month has pretty much sucked for the entire world.

Before I started back at work this was my schedule. We kinds skipped Spring break and just went straight into homeschooling. Sorry kids.

6:30 - Wait up at and get breakfast ready
7:00 - First try to get the kids up. Mostly they get up, but sometimes they need an extra 15
7:15 - Make sure kids are up and changed
7:30 - Eat breakfast and let the kids play until 8
8:00 - 9:30 - school (circle time, math, literacy)
9:30 - 10:30 -   snack and recess - we do this in the basement as it did snow a foot the first week, I  workout during this time. Either run on treadmill or weight exercises. Today the kids rode their bikes and I ran along side them.
10:30 - 11:30 - back to teaching - science and art
11:30 - 12:30 - Lunch and recess again (outside recess) - we have been playing soccer during this time in the driveway
12:30 - 13:00 - Switch with Wife (continues the schooling) who was working in the office and I walk the dog.
13:00 - 18:15 - Working from home
18:15 - 19:30 - Dinner and story time with the kids
19:30 - 20:00 - relaxe/recharge/bathroom/walk dog
20:00 - 22:45 - finish working
22:45 - 24:00 - looking leason plans for next day and figure out how to homeschool. and get ready for bed

So I have been pretty tired these first two weeks and they have been a learning curve.

More to follow on homeschool and how we are dealing with the food shortages.

Another day another emergency

Well on the work yesturday my car decided to die.  I've taken it in and the first estimates are $1,000 to fix turbo hoses. 

I called the wife and had a good talk about. Do we keep this 12 year old car or do we sell/trade-in to get a used car that works as a communter. Or do we keep it now and get it fixed and start looking to sell and in a year or so get a car after we have saved for awhile. 

I've kepts very good book  keeping on the car and when back to see over the life of the car how much I've spend on Servies i.e. things breaking.  In the 12 years I've owned the car I've spend $12k.  About $1k a year which isn't awesome, but it actually is worst then that.  For the first 7 years the car was under warrenty.  4 of it manufactures and 7 extended.  The extended was 3k.  So for 8 years of used I sent $15k to make sure it still ran so ~$1.9k a year.  After looking at these numbers it is becomig hard to keep my paid off car that I love.

Love live the three pedal cars.

I am every torn on buy a car.  For one I like buying very good things and keeping them a long time. I take very good care of my things and expect them to last forever.  So buying used it very difficult on me, but I know from an financial stance it is the best thing to do.

With two kids and a dog a sedan is becoming a little tough moving everyone around.  If I had my choice of new cars today I would want a Tesla Y, but those are expensive. I've looked at used model 3s and they seem to have kept there value so not much of a discount.

Current plan it is to start taking pictures on my car and look to sell it. Then depending on when it is sold; live off one car for awhile and then an a year or two buy a car that best fits out needs.  Maybe by then I will feel better (I'm smarter) about buying a used car. 

Life with Twins and the effects

Having twins is always a surprise. Not because now you have to change twice as many dippers and twice as much crying.  It really is you have to buy 2 - 4 times as much stuff.  This is especially true if both parents plan to work.

My twins are in kindergarten and as of today we have bought 10 car seats, 4 car seat bases, and 4 strollers and we got two others for free.  That is just to move them from place to place.

Car seats are a hard thing to get ride of.  The official stance is don't buy a used car seat because you don't know if they have been in a crash.  The other things about car seats are they expire.  They have a life I think of about 5-8 years. Which is roughly 2 kids back to back.

You have three choices

• Sell it (very hard) maybe to friends
• Gift it
• Take to recycle center (target takes them)

Lets move on to sleeping.  They have cribs, travel cribs, blankets, baby bumps.  Just to name a new.  Luckily for us we bought convertible cribs and are still use them in their full size form.

I believe we had 4 Travel cribs at the grandparents houses and they are still there. These should be sold and we also have 6 cots that we still use regularly.

The toys these kids get through the first 6 or so years is crazy.  So many books. So many matching games.  Not include all the plastic toy of he week they get at birthdays.

Books are easy. These can be donated. As long as the games are in good condition they can be sold or donated.  The other toys. Well depending on the condition it look for some to pass on and enjoy.

Clothes.  As the kids have gotten bigger we have saved there clothes by size and "gender"  this has made it easier to donate/sell/give away.  I haven't gotten into much selling of the clothes mostly because it seems like tons of work for little gain, but I know people make business out of doing this. 

Some days I look at our playroom and really feel like we should be a minimalist family.